You're fired

My son was collecting centipedes this evening while we were doing yard work.
He collected them in a large mason jar.  After we finished the yard work and made our way inside, I heard the jar break. All I could think about was the creepy crawly things running rampant in my house.

Lucky for me the jar broke outside. Unlucky for us, my son FA-REAKED out. Now, one of his autisms is that he loses it if he thinks he's going to get in trouble. And boy did he think he was going to get it.

He kept saying to Daddy "Oh No! Are you going to fire me? Am I fired? I'm fired. I'm so fired. " We told him it was an accident. Once he realized he would not be punished he calmed down.

I wanted to tell him that if anyone was going to get fired it would be me. I mean, I show up to work late, drink on the job, don't finished assigned projects, rarely keep my workstation clean, goof off on the computer and take personal phone calls when I should be working, AND I'm sleeping with my boss. Jeez I should have been given the pink slip a long time ago.

You broke a jar with bugs? No problem. You didn't make dinner because you were busy facebooking and downing a bottle of wine? You're fired.