Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Monogamy and Hair

I think that finding the right hair stylist is like finding a mate. Your always searching until you find, THE ONE. The one you want to be with forever. The one that makes you feel better after a bad day. The one that will massage your scalp when you say "I have a headache", the one you can talk, really talk to. When you find the one, you want to exchange vows till death do you part.

I had quite a few one night stands looking for the right hairstylist. I'd find them in cheap strip malls. Or even high end salons. They always left me feeling unsatisfied.  It was the same thing all the time. You go in, they do their business, they ask you to call in 6 weeks, you say you will but you never do. You NEVER do.

Often I found myself trimming my own hair. Maybe a quick bang trim. Or doing my own color. I'm not ashamed to admit it. Everyone does it anyway.

It was 5 years ago that I found my ONE. I called the award winning salon in my town. Asked who was the best with color and who's book was always full. I wanted to know who had the longest wait, because THAT was line I wanted to be in.  And so I waited. Luckily 3 days later there was an opening.  I yelled HELL YEAH and I took the earlier appointment. My girl did NOT disappoint. She was incredible. Her speeding fingers threading her poking thing through strands of hair. Foil flying, bleach brush brushing. She was very quiet and just did her job. 2 hours later I was full blown BLONDE. I had walked in with copper hair and came out a bright, beautiful blonde. I was finally satisfied! If I smoked I would have then and there.  She wanted me to call her in 6 weeks. I did one better, I called her in 3. I get a cut at the 3 week mark, color at the next 3 week mark (where she does a freebie trim), then next 3 weeks cut, etc. etc.

She moved around from salon to salon. I followed her to every one. My love knew no distance. Luckily she never went very far. My last visit to her was March 15. The day I left my home to move to another. I told her we could still see each other. Like holidays and long weekends. She expressed to me that if I found someone else, she would be OK with that. She just wanted me to be happy.

In all my travels I never strayed. She had given me a cut to last the months of grown out I would experience. 5 months and my hair was still great. In need of a trim... but it was still a great cut with many options.

It was in October that I started to realize that my hair had needs. I couldn't satisfy these needs myself. It was too big of a job.  I did the unthinkable. I went to a walk-in salon and got a hair cut.
I cried all the way home. I shampooed three times. I'm not proud of what I did. Was it worth it? No.
Just today I called my girl and told her I would be in town soon and could we get together.

The problem with cheating on your stylist is that they KNOW. You can not hide it from them. It's like an STD and they're the only ones with a cure. So you walk in with Herpes Hair and THEY have to clean it all up.  She's going to see my herpes hair and know. I'll have to confess and tell her i'm sorry. I'll tell her I was lonely, that I had needs and that we were too far apart. She'll say it's OK and she'll be glad I came to her.

So I'm going to see her and let her know I'm in it for the long haul, long distance be damned. She's the only stylist I want to be monogynous with.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

The Juice Fast

You know those people that read an article and then they believe it 100% without cross checking it? Or people that watch a documentary and decide they're going to change their life based on those 125 minutes they just saw? WE ARE THOSE PEOPLE. 

The first documentary was "Fat, sick and nearly dead". A great film. In a one word description: the guy goes on a juice fast, loses weight and regains his health. Mr. CEO called me up from out of town and said "I want to do this. Make it happen when I get home".  Now he wasn't going to be home for about a week. So I decided to start it early without him. I heard you can get pretty crabby while doing it, so to avoid divorce I went ahead and started the next day.  Starving yourself and drinking juice only is as fun as it sounds. By day two I was ready to throw in the towel. Day 3 I said "I need food not juice" but it was already too late. My body had somewhat adjusted and would not cooperate with food. I decided I would juice for breakfast and lunch while eating a sensible dinner. That worked! 

Mr. CEO came home and was ready to do this. So we did it. His will power is about a THOUSAND times stronger than mine. So he went a full NINE days. Juice only  3-4 times a day.  I was still doing it but eating actual food for dinner. Mostly salads and sauteed vegetables. I have a thing about wanting to eat my vegetables raw. 

The juice fast is not for everyone. It takes a huge amount of will power. Something I don't have much of but having a partner REALLY helped. Someone else that was relying on me to make the juice. After a few days we were able to work as a team. One person prepped the fruit, the other juiced it, the other cleaned the machine (by far the WORST part about juicing. You have to do it IMMEDIATELY afterward) 

Were there results? You betcha! Clear skin, waking up clear headed, loose clothing.... Totally worth it. It's nice to fall asleep when you close your eyes and then wake up before your alarm bright eyed and bushy tailed. 

This fast is not sustainable though. You can't stay on it for an extended period of time (despite what the guy says in the movie) but it did give us a great head start to our next phase which I will document later. I suggest a 3 day juice "cleanse" to anyone willing to try it. It's a great way to clean out your system, decrease your dependence and cravings for unhealthy food and to feel great. Want to start a new diet? Do a 3 day juice fast. It will make the diet feel like cheating. 

Mr. CEO and I call it a "reboot".  Which I think everyone can use from time to time. Not just our computers.