Thursday, May 19, 2011

An epiphany

EUREKA!

I totally had a revelation today. I was cleaning up after the 2 spawn I bore and I was mumbling to myself. First thought:
Jeez, is this what my mom went through? Cleaning up our toys day after day after day? (I can hear her right now saying "YES!")
 Motherhood is like Groundhog's Day the movie with Bill Murray. Same thing over and over and over. Seriously, it's the same toys laid out in the same place I just picked them up from. The same thing. over and over the toys, the clothes, in the same place.
And it made me think about how messy I was when I was a kid and how I never cleaned up after myself (some things never change I guess).
And then it hit me- you know how when you get married and your mother is constantly harassing you about "when are you gonna give me grandbabies??" (you have to say that in an old lady east coast accent. possibly jersey.)

Do you know what that means? It DIRECTLY translates to: "When are you going to suffer the way I suffered when I raised you?"
The ONLY reason why they want grandbabies is so that they can sit back, smirk and relish the payback.  They say they want babies to spoil but we know the truth. They want REVENGE. Would-be-grandmas are nothing more than plotting, bitter, vengeful women. And if they're lucky, you'll have a kid that was just, LIKE, YOU. That is why they pump them full of sugar and treats and then send them home. Like shaking a can of soda before someone opens it. Free babysitting comes with a price.

And you know what? We're going to do the EXACT same thing to our kids.


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