Friday, May 20, 2011

Chores or child labor?

I asked my kids to do some chores around the house. My son told me, "mom, I can't do all this work, I'm just a little boy"

First of all, putting your dirty clothes in the hamper and putting your toys away does not constitute as "work". Second of all, your legs are not broken, nor are your arms. There is no reason why you can't do your chores.

Another excuse I hear is "my  legs are tired.... and I'm tired. I just can't do it".
Look, you've got more energy than your father and I COMBINED, so hop to it.

I mean, these are pretty simple tasks I'm asking them to do. It's not like I'm having them sew me jacket, or pick pineapples. Put your toys away, put your clean clothes away, put away your dirty dishes. Basically I'm asking them to clean up after themselves.

Me thinks I'm raising spoiled children. So I've come up with a solution. I'm going to make them scrub the floors, clean the windows, weed the garden, sweep out the garage or sew me a new pair of jeans with a jacket to match. Which makes me think, how many chores can you give your children before you really are breaking some sort of child labor laws? Meh, who cares. As long as the place gets clean right? You just don't want them starting some sort of conspiracy to rat you out to the authorities.

One day while they're polishing your tires a Child Protective Services officer comes to your door and asks to look around. She says "my, your house is so beautiful! And so clean!" You say "yes, yes it is"  She asks you if you hired a professional cleaning service. You tell her "that depends on what your definition of 'hire' and 'professional' is."   
You wink at her. She winks back and says "I'm going to let this slide, but only because those little bastards did such a darn good job cleaning your blinds."

HA! Like they'd ever rat me out. I keep them well supplied in play mobil. If they left, who would buy them their toys? (at least, that's what I'll say to them)
So for an ENTIRE day I'm going to make them work their asses off. Then the next day I'll ask them to put their dirty clothes in the laundry. If they argue or come up with any excuses, I'll say "it's chores, or manual labor- your choice".   That will show them.

Now excuse me while I go put away their toys, gather their dirty clothes and wash their dirty dishes. Bastards.

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  1. LOL!! I LOVE IT!!! I have 3 little guys and I struggle EVERYDAY to get them to do something for me. I don't ask for much, and in the end I alway end up doing it too! Argh, Bastards, LOL!

  2. This is just great!!! I have three little darlings myself and I agree it feels like you are asking them to donate a kidney instead of putting their underwear IN the hamper (not by the hamper, not touching the hammper). I found you on Not So Silent Mommy and am so thirlled I did. I am now a happy follower! Thanks for a great laugh!