First Sentences

This is an exercise I like to do. People provide me with the first sentence to a story and I provide the story that goes with that sentence.

• It's hard to believe that someone can get bumped off by an ordinary tube of mascara, but it can happen
• Once again I woke up curled in the bottom of my empty pool

• She never should have left before checking for a pulse

• Today I was approached by a troll...
• I'm probably the last person you would ever want advice from, but the hobbit in the woods said your lover is trying to kill you by poisonous grandmotherly  kisses
• It was a dreary rainy morning, as I slumped out of bed and dragged myself to pain killers and coffee
• We were getting ready for bed after a long day and that was when the alarms sounded.
• As I walked to work through the skyway one morning, a crazy drunk guy in a motorized wheelchair stopped me and asked, "Have you heard the good news?
• I woke up on the front lawn, staring up at a sea of pink plastic flamingoes, once again
• It was the same old mundane, routine, predictable Tuesday for another stay at home mother out there in the world.
• I was walking through my back yard and the neighbor's fucking unicorn had shit out glitter next to my roses again.
• My ex-husband texted me today; his message was that he would pray for my sin.

• It was a dark, scary night in the park.....

• So I was shopping at Wal-Mart when I felt something vibrating in my purse.