Friday, May 13, 2011

the second oil change

So Tuesday I took the car in for the oil change and met Bob. Then the next day I took our other car in for it's oil change.

 The dealership used to have a children's lounge that had TONS of toys and kids movies and a T.V.
I found out the day before (with the FIRST oil change) that they no longer had a children's lounge. The new "customer" lounge has coffee, tea, water, TV, magazines, newspapers and a bathroom.
I had my daughter with me this time around. I had told her before we left the house that she needed to bring toys because she would get bored where we were going. She brought toys. I had my lap top she had her toy lap top. I had actual work to do, she had actual complaining and whining to do. Big surprise. When she saw the new lounge I could see the disappointment, confusion and anger on her face. That's how I felt too.

We're sitting there no more than 2 minutes when she says to me:
"Mom, where did all the toys go?"
"They put them away"
"I want to the play with the toys"
"I want you to play with the toys too. But they're not here anymore."
"mom when are we leaving?"
"as soon as the car is done"
"is it done now?"
"no it's not. I'll tell you when it's done"
"mom, i'm really starving. Can we go eat?"
"You're not starving. You ate before we left the house."
"i'm really thirsty"
"there's water over there"
"Mom, is the car done yet?"
I look at her with a stern look "Did I say the car is ready?"
"Then it's not ready"
2 minutes later
"Mom, I really want to leave"
"Me too, but the car is not ready"

I can actually see the car sitting outside. They haven't started on it.
I got there around 10:15. My son gets out of school at 12:00.
I'm watching the clock tick. tock. tick. tock. 11:00. Still sitting

"Mom, do you have anything to eat in your purse?" As she starts rummaging
through my purse.
"Mom, I want to watch my care bears movie."
"You can watch it when we get home."
"ok, then can we go home NOW?"
"nope, the car isn't ready"
"Mom, I really want to watch it nooooooooooooow"
This banter was going back and forth, back and forth until I realized that I am the boss AND an adult.
"Look Little Miss, We are HERE. We are STUCK here until
they finish the car. They haven't finished it yet so we can NOT leave. DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND?"
"FINE! I'll just sit here!"
(I doubt it) "ok"
"Mom, I'm going to sit here and be quiet"
"Mom, I'm not going to say ANYTHING!"
"Mom, I'm not whining"
"oh yeah?"
"Mom, I'm being quiet now"
"no, actually you're not"
"Mom, I want to GO!"


sort of like this.
She's being very tame here
The reason why this is less funny to read is because you can't see her. She is a total drama queen. She stands with her hip jutting out and her hand on it. She talks with one hand up in the hair, and she makes the same face as me. faces that say "are you an idiot?" and "You can't be serious" and my personal favorite, the "don't be ridiculous" face.  The girl can emote. So here she is (not this picture, "here" as in the adult-lounge-of-boredom-turned-hell) in full actress mode begging to leave. Obnoxious at the moment, a little less obnoxious to look back on.

11:30. I look up, the car has been moved. I need to leave in 15 minutes to be on time.

Silence. FUCKING FINALLY. All I hear is the T.V. It was a jury screening for a high profile murder case:

Judge: is English your primary language or secondary language ma'am?
Prospective Juror: It is a language I speak  
Judge: How much English do you understand?
Prospective Juror: Sometime I can speak it. If you talk slow I can sometime understand if my daughter speak it to me first in Vietnamese.
Me: LADY, the answer was "NOT ENOUGH".

I praise my daughter for being such a good quiet girl. This makes her happy, and surprisingly, keeps her quiet. Quiet, but not still. NEVER still. EVER. 
Finally the car is done. I look at my fidgeting, squirming daughter and say 
"Hey knucklehead, the car is done. Do you want to leave?'
"Are you sure? Because we have some time to kill. We can stay here a little longer"
A look of horror spreads across her face....
"It's ok, I know you like it here. I have some more work to. We can hang out for a little more"
The look turns to pure devastation
"Mom! No! Let's go!"
"You're SURE you want to leave? Because once we leave we're not coming back no matter how much you beg me"
She is on the verge of tears....she is soooooo going to need therapy when she gets older.
I finally tell her OK let's go.
I picked up my son on time. 
All was right with the world. 
This photo NEVER gets old.
Next time I'm scheduling the oil change when she is in school. Or I'm packing my flask. 

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