Friday, May 13, 2011


You got that right!
This has nothing to do with this post, but I wanted to show you a picture of my one day rental car's license plate.
When we got the car back from the auto shop it wasn't perfect. We demanded perfection, which meant another rental. (not nearly as exciting as the Cube)

Anyway.... I swapped cars with Hubby and took my car to get the oil changed. Both of my kids were in school and I had my laptop so I hung out in the customer lounge.

A while later I get word that they're going to need to keep the car for a few more hours (long story short- they needed to replace a part that had been recalled) and would I like a shuttle.  Yes, yes I would like a shuttle. So they call Bob, the shuttle guy who finally gets there 45 minutes after they call him.  When I see him, I can see why he was 45 minutes late. The guy is 99 years old. And not in the best mood ever. So I let some other sorry passenger ride shotgun.

The sorry ass passenger lady was one of those fake talkers. How do I explain this... The kind of person who makes small talk, tries to be funny, fake laughs and can't stand uncomfortable silence. Awkward. Not for me. I'm in the back. But I can totally tell by Bob's one word answers that he couldn't give a shit about what she has to say. We all perk up when she says she's getting dropped off at a restaurant that is a notorious drinking spot. We're like "Hell yeah!" ("we" as in Bob and I) Of course she has to ruin it by saying "no i'm not going to be drinking."

Finally Miss Fakealot leaves and now Bob and I can get down to brass tacks. I say
"Bob, could this day suck balls anymore?"
Of course an opening line like this will get the honest out of people. Bob says
"I'm just so god damn tired of people blaming me for shit that's not my fault and blahbidy blahbidy, assholes need to get their shit together and be ready when I get there and blahbidy blahibdy blah." Gee Bob, tell me how you really feel.

I like Bob.  He tells me funny stories about how he enjoys eating prime rib dinner at 3:30 at this restaurant that is just "a sea of grey hair. I like mingling with my own kind"
Bob sort of rocks.
He tells me a delightful story about how the owner of said restaurant died and didn't have a trust. He says "you gotta have a trust. Even if there's nothing in it, you gotta have it. You need a plan cuz you know you're gonna die. You can be sure of that."
To which I say "a little planning never hurt anybody. Luck favors the prepared" (a line I TOTALLY stole from The Incredibles. I didn't think he would notice.)

He said I was wise for my years and I told him it was because I have an older husband. (see honey? I said OLDER, not OLD.) And I watch a lot of Pixar movies.
We discussed more real subjects such as death, taxes, college tuition and love. When Bob dropped me off he thanked me for being the best customer and for getting dropped off so close to his girlfriends house (atta boy Bob!) because he would now get to go to her house for lunch. I said "afternoon delight?" He laughed at that and to be honest probably peed in his pants a little bit.
I guess what I learned from Bob.... it wasn't about the trust, or college tuition being an investment....No, the most important thing I learned from Bob is that Chili's now serves a margarita in a big beer mug and it gets you FUCKED UP.
I think I love you Bob.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my god! HAHAHAHA I wish I could meet Bob. And also hate to admit that I knida want to try this beer mug margarita.