Saturday, May 21, 2011

An open letter to husbands

Dear Husbands,

I understand that your wife has bore your children. Baked them, birthed them, fed them, raised them.... the process of creating, making and raising a child is a big ordeal. During this process parts of her body have been sacrificed. This is for the good of the children. Without her body nothing else is possible. So in an effort to keep relationships together and couples happy I send out this plea: Get your wife the boobs. Get her the tummy tuck. Get her the botox. She will be happy. Pay the money.

Should you ever divorce, she will get these things anyway.... with your money. Better to spend the money and enjoy it yourself than to spend the money and have every other man enjoy it. (Assuming she becomes a relentless whore. Which obviously she will given how hot you'll pay for her to get and how much of a cheap jerk you were for not giving in)

So men, pony up the cash and put a little spark (debt) into your relationship. You'll both be happier.  Remember: Happy wife, happy life.

*Editors note: this blog post was about men enjoying their money's worth. Not about happiness. While I did write about having a happy wife we all know that there is no such thing. So better a cranky tired wife with high, taut boobs than a cranky tired wife with saggy sad boobs.


  1. AMEN!!!! If I give you my hubby's email address, could you send him this directly??!

  2. Research shows that new boobs, a tummy tuck and botox do not bring happiness. You get those, are still not satisfied, and them want more. If there are already cracks in your relationship, cosmetic surgery will not be the answer. If you have problems with accepting yourself, cosmetic surgery is not the solution either.
    Your blog post really disturbed me...

  3. Alrighty Teachermum,
    This is the humor section. To me, this is silly. I see your point, but please consider that it's meant to be FUNNY.

  4. I can say that I am 100% happy and accepting with both myself and my relationship. I can also say that I would be very happy if my husband paid for some new boobs for me!! And while he's at it, I wouldn't turn down a tummy tuck, some liposuction or botox... Funny yes, but also true!!

  5. I must be having a really bad day. Usually I see the humour in any situation but failed this time...

  6. Wow, some of your readers are really uptight. Please don't send them my way as they will hate me and then I will cry. Besides EVERYONE knows that big boobs, a perfectly flat tummy and an ass like a 20 year old makes you a better person.

  7. This is too funny and my husband always says, "Happy wife, Happy life." My husband 'gets it.' I have a really good husband though. I love this; I also love gifts that you cannot give back.