An open letter to husbands

Dear Husbands,

I understand that your wife has bore your children. Baked them, birthed them, fed them, raised them.... the process of creating, making and raising a child is a big ordeal. During this process parts of her body have been sacrificed. This is for the good of the children. Without her body nothing else is possible. So in an effort to keep relationships together and couples happy I send out this plea: Get your wife the boobs. Get her the tummy tuck. Get her the botox. She will be happy. Pay the money.

Should you ever divorce, she will get these things anyway.... with your money. Better to spend the money and enjoy it yourself than to spend the money and have every other man enjoy it. (Assuming she becomes a relentless whore. Which obviously she will given how hot you'll pay for her to get and how much of a cheap jerk you were for not giving in)

So men, pony up the cash and put a little spark (debt) into your relationship. You'll both be happier.  Remember: Happy wife, happy life.


*Editors note: this blog post was about men enjoying their money's worth. Not about happiness. While I did write about having a happy wife we all know that there is no such thing. So better a cranky tired wife with high, taut boobs than a cranky tired wife with saggy sad boobs.