Saturday, June 4, 2011

I might be addicted

Confession: I've been juicing. A lot. I'm talking.... A LOT. I don't think I have a problem though. I can stop whenever I want to. If I wanted to I could, I can.
I haven't always been like this. I've had the juicer awhile but it has spent much time in the cupboard. I rediscovered the juicer one day while I was looking for my fondue pot. And I said to myself "self, you have some vegetables that are on the verge of being thrown out, maybe you should juice them up"
And so I did.
Then I said to myself "self, this isn't so bad. Maybe you could buy more vegetables and juice those too. Self, maybe you could get creative"
So I took myself to the store and bought $200 in produce. It didn't last long. Then I stole money out of my husbands wallet to buy more fruit. I can't get enough and it never lasts long enough.
I'm getting hooked, and when you become hooked, it doesn't matter what it tastes like. grapefruit, tomato, celery? Sure! Kale, lime, nectarine, strawberry? Why not? Watermelon, cucumber, spinach, apple? Make mine a double! I've been juicing everything in this house. I've been sneaking to my neighbor's yard and stealing their shrubs. My neighbors are wondering where their roses went. I'm getting neighborhood watch flyers on my door asking if I've seen someone taking people's landscaping. I'm hiding in the house and peeking out the windows watching for their cars to leave. Then I make my move. I can't stop, I need the greens. The guy to the left of me just bought a Doberman and a motion light.  What they don't know is that it's only making me more stealthy. My hands are shaking even as I write this. My mouth is salivating.... oh look, the sun is down. Excuse me while I slip into a ski mask... the new lady down the street just planted an orange tree.....


  1. Juice addiction? Really? At least my addiction is heroin. See how competitive I am?

  2. Love the article. All I can say is, I'm so glad I am not the only one! I love juicing! Now, if I could just find a self-cleaning juicer they will never be able to stop me. :)

  3. @Wholesome Mother

    Oh the cleaning is such a pain. I find that if I clean it before i drink the juice i'm in a much better position.

  4. That is pretty funny - and juice is good for you and tastes great too! Thanks.