Thursday, April 28, 2011

My feelings made me do it Part Deux

My kids like to ask me a lot why they have to wear seat belts. I know I should come up with some scary and clever answer. Something like, if you don't wear your seat belt your face will get slammed into the window if we turn too sharply. Or, if you don't wear your seat belt and we hit a bump then you'll crack your skull on the roof of the car. Or if I slam on the brakes you'll go flying through the windshield. But they would never believe any of that. So instead I used a good ol' standby:

 The Police will come after us.
No, not that police

I tell them that if they don't put on their seat belts than the police will take me away to prison. When really I'll get slapped with a fat ticket, high probability my car will get impounded, possible jail time. I'm old enough to know NOT to look up to Britney Spears as a parental role model. And honestly, I just have too much to do. Jail time would really cut into my to-do list. 

So the other day on the way to school my Son took off his seat belt to reach his backpack which was on the floor of his sister's side of the car. IMMEDIATELY his sister yelled, "MOM! He took his seat belt off!!!!"
I wish. I'd be running
 red lights
all over town

I bark out, "Hey YOU, with the seat belt off! Get it back on or the police are going to come after us!" (and then we're going to have to try to out run them, go on the lam, dye our hair and change our names. so. much. work.)
Of course my daughter has all the answers, she says to me,
"it's ok mom, if the police get us, I'll just tell the police that my feelings told you to do it."
What the what? That I did it??
"yeah Mom, it's ok. We'll just tell them that my feeling made you do it, and you're sorry and it will be ok."

We will save the feelings logic for law breaking that occurs under our own roof. Like when one of my kids spills their milk*, doesn't put their bike away, dumps out my brand new mineral makeup, or pushes their brother. And when I say "kids" what I really mean is "kid" as in "youngest, female offspring"

*coincidentally- my youngest terrorist child spilled her milk (after .5 seconds earlier she had been reminded to keep her cup on the table and not to spill) ((as I was writing this entry)) all over the: 
1) brand new table cloth 
2) recently mopped floor
3) recently polished chair

She ran downstairs. After my tirade she came back up to apologize... which went something like this
"Mom, I'm sorry my feelings made me spill my milk."

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1 comment:

  1. I love reading your blog! You are totally hilarious and it's so fun to hear about the kids. Keep up the great work!