Thursday, April 21, 2011

Hair it is

I recently made a drastic change to my hair. Going from simple brown to reddish, reddy, red. It was red. Not really auburn, or burgundy. Just RED.  I haven't been this color for oh...... 12  years? So it was a little drastic. Anybody who knows me knows I'm all about the drastic. But not every lady is. Some women love to have the same hair style. It suits them, they like it, they'll keep it forever. That's fine.  I just think some people need to learn how to deal with others people's drastic hair changes.

Here are some "tells" that a person doesn't like/approve/understand your hair change:

"wow, you cut your hair"
translation: your hair was so much prettier long. I'm in shock.

"Oh my gosh, you're hair is so blond!"
translation: you look totally washed out. Also i'm jealous you did it before me.

"Did you dye your hair darker?"
translation: wow that dark hair totally ages you.

"I've never seen your hair so straight"
translation: you look like a troll

"I've never seen your hair so curly"
translation: you look like Richard Simmons

These phrases are NEVER good. EVER. Luckily for you, I've been changing my hair long enough to know the nice things to say to people when they change their hair.

Someone cut their hair short-
"Wow! Your hair looks FANTASTIC short!"
Reason: When someone cuts inches, nay, FEET of hair off, it is a hard adjustment for them. Do NOT leave any room in your compliment for doubt. They are probably really struggling with the shock of the cut so praise it. PRAISE, COMPLIMENT, PRAISE. Especially if they are unsure.

Someone went blonde-
"Wow! You look GREAT blonde!"
Reason: When someone goes lighter, like, DRASTICALLY lighter (especially if they were much darker before) they really need encouragement. So always be nice with the compliments.... because going blonde, really fries your hair. Their hair will never be as shiny again.  So let them feel good about it for now.

Someone went darker-
"Wow! Lovin' the dark locks! So sexy!"
Reason: There is something sultry and sexy about dark hair. Maybe that is the reason why they made the change. Even if they are not pulling it off at all they know how hard it is going to be to lighten their hair should they choose to do that. So embrace their darker do. Even if it makes them look like an evil witch.

Someone has curlier hair-
"ohh... mah... gad.... You look totally amazing with curly hair!"
Reason: straight haired people always want curly hair. So when they do it, applaud them for their courageousness. They'll want their straight hair back in a few days. So let them have their moment (or week... depending on how long they keep it).

Someone has straighter hair-
"ohh... mah... gad... You look totally sleek and sexy with straight hair!"
Reason: They are so use to more voluminous hair. They need the volume to make their big face smaller. They know it doesn't look good on them... but don't let them know that. One wash and it will be curly again.

When all else fails.... LIE. If you hate someone's new, drastic hair change... LIE. Tell them it looks amazing. polka dot hair? Beautiful. Skunk streaks? Stunning! Brassy highlights that cost $200? Breathtaking. It costs a lot of money and a lot of courage to change hair so be gentle with these fragile souls. Always compliment. Anytime you ask someone if they changed their hair they know you hate it. "you cut your hair?!" "no, I grew 3 feet. Of COURSE I cut it, but what do you THINK??"

The first thing out of your mouth should be a compliment upon realizing a friend's new hair. Period.  Remember the whole "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all?" It applies here. Only we're going to change it to:

 "If you can't say something nice, then hurry up and say 'I LOVE IT!' so they don't freak out and assume you  hate it instantly upon seeing it."

You can never go wrong with:
"I love it!"
"It's looks amazing!"
"you look phenomenal!"

And remember- NEVER address someone's new do' with a question. Unless that question is:
"Can I have your stylist's number to book an appointment for myself immediately?"

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