Thursday, September 29, 2011

It was a dreary rainy morning.....

First sent provided by: Tonya Goddessofall Medrano: 

It was a dreary rainy morning, as I slumped out of bed and dragged myself to pain killers and coffee. 

Life with a hangnail could be almost unbearable at times. I had taken myself to the doctor the day before. He said that it was nothing to worry about. I knew I needed a second opinion. So I asked my hamster. His reply was just what I was suspecting "you need meds. STAT."  I went to my grandmothers house. I knew she just had hip replacement surgery and had plenty of painkillers. She didn't need them. She had a new hip! So of course I took three bottles. This was the mother of all hangnails. 

I washed down 4 pills with my morning cup of Joe. They went down smooth as I suspected they would. I threw in 2 NyQuil for good measure. 

6 hours later I woke up. Dizzy, groggy, and parched. I looked down at my hangnail. It wasn't any better. Damn. Damn. Damn. The painkillers weren't working. I considered the worst scenario: my fingertip gets amputated. Best case scenario: I take more painkillers and don't feel the pain. My money was on best case scenario. 

Down the hatch goes 3 more pills. Oh crap, I was supposed to pick my kids up from school. Oh double crap, I don't have kids! Damn you hangnail! Look what you've done to me! I don't know what is up or what is down. Life has turned sideways and I don't know which lane to be in! 

Why God?!?! WHY did I have to be dealt this card? What did I do to deserve this hangnail?
I pounded my fists on the ground. 

Then God spoke to me: He said "I gave you the hangnail as a test. You had the power to heal it all along. Did you not notice the Neosporin and nail clippers next to your coffee cup?"

That last part I'm pretty sure happened. I'm not 100% positive because I also saw God and he looked a lot like Sneezy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. (dwarfs?) It could have been a hallucination. Either way, I vow only to use painkillers when I am in such excruciating pain that I can not live my life at a normal capacity. I will not use painkillers to heal. 

But seriously, the hangnail was pretty bad. 

1 comment:

  1. I think the last line is my favorite haha.
    And I think its' dwarfs....but I am not sure either lol