It was a dark scary night in the park when the girl wakes up and finds herself tied to a tree.
"Dammit" she thought "no more Ambien for me". How long had she been there? How would
she get herself out of this situation? One thing was for sure, she was stuck. She looked
around her and found a sign written by her own hand. It read:
SAVE THIS TREE! NO MORE PEE!
Earlier that day she had been in the park with her own dog. She watched as she witnessed a homeless man urinate on the tree. A tree that the local dogs loved to pee on. Now, they were forced to find a fire hydrant to pee on. It was awful. That tree was supposed to be for the dogs! How dare he. She had considered campaigning to save the tree from transient urine. She had considered writing up a petition and having all the people who used the park to sign it. Maybe they could build a fence around the tree with slits that only the dogs could use.
She thought it over and over for the rest of the night. She could barely enjoy her hamburger helper dinner.
Her dog, Mr. Jiggles, sat at her feet while she tapped her fork against her plate.
"I've got to do something about that tree. Maybe I'll tie myself to it and protest!" She decided she would
look into the legal ramifications of tying herself to a tree.
It was all coming back to her now, and she sat shivering in the cold in her pajamas. The great thing about Ambien is that it allows you to do things you wouldn't normally do. Things you WANT to do, but just don't have the balls to do. Or the better judgement to do. She realized that the reason for the shivering was that she was wet! She took a whiff... urine. Damn those transients!