It's hard to believe that someone can.....

First sentence provided by: Holly Hegler 


"It's hard to believe that someone can get bumped off by an ordinary tube of mascara, but it can happen."




More easily than you would think. Muggers should be more leery of a woman yielding a tube of mascara than one with pepper spray. I know what you're thinking, you're thinking I made this up but it's true. It really happened to my sister's neighbor's cousin's mechanic's daughter's lab partner's uncle's doctor's daughter's best friend. 


She was out with some friends, bowling I think it was. Her friends all left and she realized she left her sweater in the bowling alley. So she went back to get it and on her return to the parking lot a guy came up and grabbed her. She fumble around in her purse looking for her pepper spray. She grabbed what she thought was the pepper spray. It was just mascara. Wasting no time she rammed the tube into his eye. Then she stomped on his foot, elbowed him in the gut, turned around and kicked him in the nuts. This didn't kill him. No, it only knocked the wind out of him and dropped him to the ground with a mix of fury, pain, and confusion. 


After he fell to the ground, she dropped the mascara and got in her car. While she was backing up, her tire caught the end of the mascara tube. Instead of smashing it though, it shot it out like a rocket..... right into the guy's mouth. He jammed into his windpipe and he suffocated, thus killing him.  That is why they now have a 7 day hold on any tube of mascara you buy.  They are lethal. Guns don't kill people, mascara tubes do.