Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Sentence Contest Winner: Sally Secci Scuderi

The first sentence of this short story has been submitted by: Sally Secci Scuderi 

I had serious arm surgery and decided to get a brazilian...... but I didn't know where to start.   I could have just got a Mexican, but I feel like that is so cliche right now. Brazilians are stronger and taller anyway. I wasn't gong to be able to lift my arm for 2 months. I would definitely need someone taller than me.  It's not like I have anything against Mexicans. I like them just fine, and their food. This was a job for a Brazilian though. 

See, about a year ago all my friends were talking about how they were getting Brazilians, and it changed their life.  They all talked about how much their sex life improved as well. I could see that. If I didn't get so tired from all the work I did around the house then I'd have a better sex life too.  I asked them what was so special about a Brazilian.  They informed me that a Brazilian got EVERYTHING. Nooks AND crannies. Well that sounded pretty thorough to me! 

A few weeks back I slipped and fell in my kitchen.  It was a silly accident really.  There was some bacon grease that had splattered on the floor and at the time I didn't have a Brazilian working here so it didn't get cleaned up. I broke my arm in 3 different places, fractured my clavicle and dislocated my arm. It probably wouldn't have been that serious but I was holding my martini in one hand and the shaker in the other and I didn't want to spill either one. It was not a graceful fall to say the least.  So now here I am, all wrapped up, immobile from the waist up. 

If there was ever a time to get a Brazilian, this was it.  How does one find a Brazilian though? Do they live in special communities? Where would I find a favela in these parts?  I decided to put an ad in craigslist. "help wanted: Brazilian to do my nooks and crannies. upper body injured, need help"
I got a lot of replies, but nobody was Brazilian. Can't they READ??

I've decided to go ahead and hire whoever can do it. My sex life be damned. I needed help and this was no time to play the race card. 

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