Sunday, August 21, 2011
I miss you. Summer wasn't the same without you. How are you enjoying jail? Have you decided on a gang to join? How does the prison garden look?
You're probably wondering how I know you're in jail. Well, I heard about all those deaths in the mid west and stuff and then I was talking to the moon and, you know, word gets around. I was shocked though that a big, bright star such as yourself would actually do time. I mean Lindsay Lohan didn't even do time! She's not nearly as big of a star as you. Although, in her defense, the only she killed was a bottle of vodka and her career. Just goes to show how messed up our judicial system is. You should have hired Casey Anthony's attorney. (too soon?)
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I'm doing OK. I have a bottle of Jergen's self tanner and a spray can of Loreal tan in a can. So I'm good. I never did get a chance to go sailing though. Maybe you'll get paroled in September for good behavior. I'll keep my fingers crossed.
Well, good luck with that gang thing and I hope you enjoy the soap on a rope I got you.