Thursday, December 8, 2011

dues paid

How should I start this post? I'm going to try out a few different things and whatever sticks is what you guys see.

My husband VERY recently bought me a new car. We had been looking and toying with the idea of selling. (remember my craigslist ad? p.s. lots of feedback)  Unbeknownst to me, my husband had gone off and found the exact car I wanted. He locked that shit down and surprised me. He told me he had to go to a dealership because he wanted to test drive a car himself. I said fine I'll go. Then I saw the car... with the bow.... I knew it was mine. I went in and signed the papers. I drove off the lot with it. 

I posted a pic on Facebook about it. I was SOOOO excited. This is a luxury car. The very first time I had even SAT in one was for a .5 mile test drive a month ago. Unfortunately, there were some friends and/or family who were not as happy as I was about our new purchase. Some people just couldn't be happy for us. It was sad really. 

When my husband and I first met, he was living in a 2 bedroom apartment with 2 employees. The office was in the living room. He had the master bedroom, one employee had the second bedroom and another had the living room futon. He was starting a company and he was just about at square one. Believe it or not, they had moved up. The weekend after I met him I spent a weekend alone with him. The first night was spent in the apartment. When I first walked in, his "roommates" were gone.  He had music playing on the computer systems... all linked together, the Gladiator soundtrack, Enya, and other ambient music I loved. The apartment was very small and we spent that first night on a deflating air mattress. I awoke at 2am to a flat ground and him saying "roll over, I have to pump this up". [insert dirty joke here]

The next day was spent exploring the "city". We stayed at a bed and breakfast and it was truly a romantic experience. The next day was followed by dinner with his parents before I had to catch my flight home. 

I flew home that evening knowing 100% that he was the man I would marry. 2 weeks later we were engaged. 2 weeks after that I quit my job and moved in with him into that tiny 2 bedroom apartment with a deflating bed. Every night around 2am we would wake up and he would pump it back up using a hand pump. Shortly thereafter his 10 year old daughter flew in to stay with us for the summer. I was 23 at the time, hadn't babysit in 12 years and was generally uncomfortable around kids. It was the hardest summer of my life. I loved him, was trying to love her, trying to make myself useful by cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and helping out with computer work. We all struggled that summer, and we all probably lost a little faith in the situation. 

I left at the end of summer to go back home. He was relocating his "office" so I thought it would be better if I was out of the way. I also missed my mom. I had never lived so far away before. This is where the story gets complicated if you're talking to the two of us. We each have our own story of the events that transpired. In the end, we had a long discussion and decided we would try to make this work. Again, I would be sleeping on an air mattress, BUT, with this man next to me, I would have slept on a rock just to be with him. 

His "office" was once again in an apartment. It took up the master bedroom and we occupied the smaller bedroom while 3 employees slept in the living and dining room. It was an interesting experience to say the least. I discovered my love of Family Guy and Cabernet Sauvingon. I'm sure it was the latter that caused the pregnancy I soon found myself faced with. We were engaged yes, married no. It took ONE day after that to get a real bed, and only 3 weeks after that to get a place of our own. 

We suffered financially, we suffered emotionally, we suffered physically. I've always believed in him... even when no one else did. He always believed in me and what I would some day become. We stayed together, and have gone through thick and thin. Through richer and poorer. In sickness and  in health. Exactly what we declared in our wedding vows shortly after moving into our new apartment and discovering our pregnancy. His company has grown, our family has grown, and so has our love for each other. 

He is my best friend, as I am his. We've been hungry, tired, broke, on the brink of collapse but we believe in each other. We've come a long way together. If he wants to celebrate our distance thus far with a new car... far be it for me to deny him this gesture. It doesn't matter what I drive or where I live. As long as I'm with him.... I would sleep on a deflating air mattress. 


  1. Im happy to hear about others and their true love. It's not always pretty, real shit happens. But, it's the greatest thing once you experience it. My wife also left her familiar life (Boston) to be with me (near Seattle) and there are plenty of ups and dows, but I will always lover her as my best friend and as my wife. It's pretty cool to hear that you've got a similar story, right down to the missing of your mother. Kerp up the great work and I'll keep being lazy and read it. Bill S.

  2. Aw, that's is actually beautiful! Hard times and making it through with someone you love just proves even more how much you care for each other! :-) I think people who don't have any challenges to overcome miss out on some big learning and relationship building opportunities!

  3. I, for one, would like to say an unhindered, unambiguous CONGRATS! Your patience and love have led you good places, and that's a beautiful thing, regardless the opinions of the covetous. <3

  4. I am so happy for you! I would be even happier for you if you lived close enough for me to ride in your new car.

    I have to admit that, whenever I see a Mercedes Benz, I think of you and sing Janis Joplin...but it is just a catchy song and I feel kinda cool when I sing it in my 2004 minivan ;)