Thursday, July 21, 2011

True Story

Normally I don't really like writing stories about my kids. I especially don't like reading stories about OTHER people's kids. Am I wrong? I'm sure there are some of you out there who feel the same. Nobody thinks our kids are as funny/cute/smart as we do. That being said, I'm going to tell you a story about my kids.

Yesterday was their yearly doctor's check up. I told them the doctor was just going to look at them, listen to their heart, and make sure they're eating healthy. As we pulled into the parking lot, my daughter screams "IT'S THE SHOT DOCTOR!!!!!"

I had to reassure her that they would not be getting shots today. It was just a healthy check up. I gave them my word. (can you see where this is going?)

Their shots were not up to date. The doctor asked me if I was sure I wanted to do it today, we could always make another appointment. YEAH RIGHT. "We're here now, let's do it."
Once he left I sat my children down and got very serious with them. I explained the situation. As expected, my daughter screamed bloody murder while my son sat stone still.

fast forward through all the crying and screaming....
My son went first... SCREAMING.  I tried to calm him down. Of course that DIDN'T work. So I said, "do you want to watch?"
For some miraculous reason this worked. He calmed down, and held very still. He watched all 4 shots. Didn't cry..... Until it was all over. Then he FLIPPED out. He said he didn't want to watch his sister do it, and that he wanted to go wait in the waiting room and he was very upset.

So his sister was up next, and she was freaking out. She said "I only want one shot! ONE!"
So I said "ok, we'll do one shot and you can tell me what you thought of it"
One shot later, she said "that didn't hurt!" So the nurse took that as a green light and went ahead and did the following three. My daughter didn't even flinch. When she was all done her face lit up and she said "I did it! I didn't even know I was brave! Can we do more??"
I had no idea they were putting crack in vaccines these days.

On the drive home she said to me "Mom, thanks for getting me shots so I can be healthy"
She was thanking me. For shots. My son of course was looking at me like I was a lying bitch and pretty much held a grudge against me for the rest of the day.

So my pansy-ass child ended up being a warrior, and my silent hero ended up falling to pieces.

Who knew?

FYI- There is no magic word, no bribe, no promise of treats or swimming that will lessen the freak out of a child who knows a shot is only minutes/seconds away.  It's sort of like cliff jumping: despite the crying and screaming, you just have to do it.

P.S. My son was already diagnosed with autism before he ever had any vaccines. Suck on THAT Jenny McCarthy, you Bitch.


  1. You mean you don't love reading post after post about my adorable and highly intelligent kids. I am devastated! But, I know my kids will read them for years to come so, no regrets. ;)

    I love that your daughter was thanking you and requesting more shots. I wish my kids would be so grateful!

  2. Aw, I am so sad you don't like reading about me kids ;-) I actually like reading about other people's...assuming they write it creatively and entertainingly...kind of like your post above :-)