Does anybody have a tampon?

I normally don't like to write about the menses of women. It's personal and it's gross and nobody wants to hear about it.  That being said, I have story to tell you.

*you have been warned*

I had the good fortune of starting my cycle on Friday morning. I had to attend a 3 day conference starting that day. So that was, you know, AWESOME. All my tampons were in the glove box in the car, (no pun intended) so I figured I would grab them while I was driving to the conference. Well, Big Daddy ended up driving me and we took a different car. No tampons. I had plenty of pads, just no tampons. OK, no big deal. I can just pick up a box while I'm at the conference.

From the moment I stepped into the hotel it was a WHIRLWIND. Presentations, speakers, meetings, workshops, lunches.... it was madness. Every minute of the day was planned out for you.

No tampons.

Finally we got a break for lunch. I mad dashed to the bathroom. I will save you the details of what could have been mistaken as a crime scene. BONUS- I left my stash of pads at my seat at my table. Fortunately, at this conference there were 2,000 women present. The odds were pretty good that somebody would have something. Seeing how there was a line for the bathroom, I thought I would take that bet.   I opened my bathroom stall door and peeked my head out to the line. I blurted out "does anyone have a tampon? or a pad?"

Crickets.

Nobody. Had. Anything.

(This is why I don't gamble)

TWO THOUSAND WOMEN.

Not ONE pad or tampon.

What. The. Fuck. I thought we were all supposed to menstruate at the same time. Luckily for me I practice kegels everyday. I flexed, and ran to my table. Then ran to the back of the line at the bathroom. I was safe, and no damage was done.

At this particular  hotel they have feminine product dispensers in the bathroom. FOR FREE! Except, they were all empty.

The Period Gods hate me.