TEX-MEX

I love mexican food. REAL mexican food. Being part Mexican I cook it at home, I request it when I visit my mother, I make tortillas from scratch.... Me gusta authentic Mexican food. Who doesn't? Well apparently Texans. (no offense to Texans. Don't get made at me. but this is truth)

Why would anyone make TexMex when they have regular Mex? ESPECIALLY when they're so close to the border? I can understand Wisconsin or Maine coming up with their  own version of Mexican. But TEXAS??  Come on! You can smell the carne asada from your doorstep!

I recently had the misfortune of picking out a restaurant. I said, 'when in Rome'! So I picked a true blue Texas 'TexMex" eatery. WHAT.THE.HELL? I'll spare you the details and guide you to  my review on yelp if you're interested.

People, let me tell you something. Less is more for a REASON. The beauty in mexican food is it's simplicity. The Mexicans are not a wealthy group. Eating off the land, using all the meat from an animal, using the same 10 ingredients to make 75 different dishes... it's like, survival food, it's beautiful and it relays years and years and years of culture. Recipes passed down from generation to generation. Not meant for the bastardization of a burrito becoming a chimichanga.

Texas- shame on you. Ya'll are like a painted up trollop posing as a mexican. A wolf in sheeps clothing. A flat chested girl in a push up bra.  Ya'll are the spanx of "mexican" food. I don't know what you're doing, I don't know why you're doing it. All I know is that it is an abomination. A travesty on authentic cooking. Stick to what ya'll are good at, BBQ.  Keep your brisket, ribs, pork, chicken and sauce. Let's face it, you guys cook meat. and you cook it well. Everything is bigger in The Republic of Texas. Meat included! Big hair, BIG trucks, big MEAT. Work with that angle.

If ya'll are going to have Mexican food then have real Mexicans making your menus and cooking in the kitchen. You know what? We SHOULD let the mexicans cross the border, but in order to do that they have to spend a year cooking mexican food in restaurants. Then they have to train a successor. Then they can't send money back to Mexico. And they can't have more than 3 babies. And they have to learn the language. Then they have to serve in the military for  a year while we imperialize Mexico.

Why can't they have taco cartels instead of drug cartels? THAT'S where the money is at. More people eat food than do drugs. All those tunnels they dig, sending over delicious carnitas. Black market guacamole. Red label salsa.  Jalapeños by the kilo! Bricks of Cilantro! Refried beans hidden in gas tanks. All fueled by tequila! Sure the workers will be a little slower, a little heavier; after all, you have to realize they'll be dipping into the stash. But it will get there!  As payment they'll receive cash and Lipitor

Where was I going with this? SQUIRREL!