Thursday, March 31, 2011


I spent 8 years dating before I met Big Poppa. When I met him I decided I needed to lock that ass down and FAST. That one wouldn't be on the market for much longer. He saved me from the dating pool which was infested with slime, eels, sharks and various other flotsam and jetsam. I met a handful of fish I enjoyed spending time with but it never lasted. After I married Big Poppa I realized that the dark days of dating where behind me. Or so I thought.

Some years later I realized I could not stay at home all day. I would need to meet other moms. Apparently to meet other moms you have to go to places where they hang out... parks, gyms, coffee shops, the playground at the mall (only early in the morning when the mall walkers are out) and children's libraries. You scan the crowd quickly and decide who you will not be talking to and you may try to engage in conversation.  With any luck your child and you will pick a matching set: mother and child. When these stars have aligned you can now make pleasantries.

I am reminded of why I disliked dating so long ago. The first meeting is actually interview #1. If you both mutually agree on a first play date then you exchange contact information and wait for the other person to make first contact. Luckily these days we have texting and email which makes it sooooooo much easier to reach out without the worry of rejection.

You make contact, you make a date, you make a plan and you're on your way to a "play date". This is interview #2. The children play but you and the other mommy must see if you have enough in common to make this foursome last. (or fivesome, sixsome etc depending on the number of children involved) After the play date is over you wonder if you did ok, if the other person felt the same, if you'll do a second play date and generally over analyze the entire thing.

So you both decide on a second play date. This I like to have in my home, and here is the reason why... I can offer them wine. This is my equivalent to first base.
If she declines then I know there will be no third play date unless it is at 8 in the morning.

So play date after play date, you are officially "play dating". Which turns into  a relationship. You talk on the phone, you text, you shoot each other emails. You are no longer mommies, you have now become friends. Enjoy it while it lasts because ALL good things come to an end. Someone asks for something back, returns a gift or stops returning your phone calls. In same cases you get a nasty email. In some cases you get a face to face confrontation. Call it what you will.... You and your mommy friend are breaking up.

I have had 5 years of play dating. I have made a handful of friends. Most of which I no longer speak to. I don't mind. I figure, I enjoyed their company while I had it. They have all had an enormous impact on my life which I am grateful for. I am grateful for the friendship, the laughs, the cries, the worries, the recipes, the hospitality, the recommendations, and the time. I can't say that about any guys I dated so that's a plus.

Dating is dating. If companionship is the name of the game then you have to be willing to do some courting. If you're lucky, your kids will get along too.

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